Trust Matters

It's been nearly 7 weeks since my last posting here. It needs a refresher.

Do you sometimes feel or think that people don't trust you? What makes them not trust you? On the flip side, who should you trust? And why should you trust them?

There are 4 components to trust:

Character:

1. Integrity - Do you actually do what you say and not just say what you do?
   
2. Motive - Are you looking out for other people instead of just yourself?

Competence:

1. Capability - Are you capable of doing the things you're supposed to do?
   
2. Result - Do you have a good track record of the past things you've done?

People will trust you when they see you as a genuine person with the ability to make good things happen.

9 Daily Short Term Personal Goals

I believe that if you focus on taking things one step at a time, you’ll eventually get to your destination. Then once you get there – you move on to something else, not necessarily good or bad, but onto something else. That’s life, for me at least. I learned to accept it.

Here are 9 short term goals that I try to achieve on a daily basis:

1. Today, I will be happy. I take Abraham Lincoln’s advice that “most folks are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
2. Today, I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.
3. Today, I will take care of my body.
   
4. Today, I will strengthen my mind. I will learn something useful.
5. Today, I will remind myself that there’s a higher being responsible for everything.
6. Today, I will be agreeable. Look well, talk low, act courteously, be liberal with praise, will not criticize nor find fault.
7. Today, I will live through this day only, not to tackle my whole life problem at once.
8. Today, I will find a quiet time and be by myself for at least 5 minutes to relax and rejuvenate.
9. Today, I will not be afraid to be happy. To enjoy what is beautiful, to love, and to believe that those I love, love me.

Acton Item. What the Heck is It Anyway?

Perhaps one of the most dreaded jargon in the business world - action item.

Action items require tremendous amount of effort to complete. Finishing action items entail a lot of “thinking” and “doing”. These are very important. They are the atoms to a molecule. They are the foundation to a house. They are the nuts and bolts to a functioning piece of machinery. They are the blood life of your business team, group, or organization.

Let me quickly define what an “action item” means. An action item is basically an agreed-upon documented task, event, or activity that needs to take place.

Sometimes, action items can be very daunting. Most of the "note-takers" in a business conference bring their pens and notepads to write down not their colleague’s great ideas, or their boss’ opinion about important matters, or other interesting verbiages that comes along. They bring their pens and notepads to write down action items that they may be responsible for completing on certain due dates.

In my experience, sometimes these actions items are not quite as clear to a business group or team as they should be. Sometimes, it’s unclear as to who is responsible to complete it. Sometimes, it's unclear as to why it needs to be done. Sometimes, it's unclear as to how it can be done. Sometimes, it’s unclear as to when it must be completed. Or even worse, sometimes it’s unclear as to what the action item is!

So for my own sake and sanity, I had to define what an action item is in great detail. It is called an “action” item because it comes from a process called thinking to finally doing it.

In business, thinking has no value when it doesn’t transition into actions. In other words, we plan to do things. We don’t plan just to plan. Value means return on investment (ROI)… in terms of money, time, resources, and effort. However, I also understand that an action without prior analysis of cause and effect can lead to an end result of no value or even worse, negative value - wasting money, time, resources, and effort.

Therefore both “thinking” by planning and “doing” by acting must take place in order to be successful in the business world. It is only reasonable to think about what we're doing to do and not think about what we've already done. Planning must occur prior to taking action.

If we "plan" to "do" important things to be successful, then we must consider these 2 sides of an action item:

(1) Thinking of Action Item: "What needs to get done but why then how?"

• What is the action item - Clearly and carefully define in details as to what needs to get done.
• Why do we need this action item? - Reasons as to why this action should happen.
• How do we complete this action item? - The process for completing an action item.

(2) Doing an Action Item: "What needs to get done by whom and by when?"

• What is the action item? - Clearly and carefully define in details as to what needs to get done.
• Who is responsible for completing this action item? - assigned person who mutually agreed to complete it.
• When is the action item due for completion? - reasonable mutually agreed due date of an action item.

After all, if you were hired to just “do” work and not "think" about work, then you know you’re in trouble. We no longer live in the industrial world where being loyal to an organization by “doing” things will give you job security. We live in the information world where if you want to have at least a small shot at job security, then you must be employed to think and do.

Things as They Are. Things as I Think of Them

As you may or may have not noticed, I changed the subtitle for my blogsite from, "Management, Leadership, Human Relations, Personal Finance, Arts and Music" to "Things as they are. Things as I think of them."

Why change? I realized that I didn't want to convey that I'm writing about certain topics, but rather to write about "what I think" of them.

Imagine you are sitting in sand at the beach, it's sunrise at 5:52 am, also feel that it's cold and your at one of the California beaches What does that look to you? I bet you it's completely different than mine. I also bet that your imagination of this particular picture your created in your mind is unique from everyone else. I can certainly guarantee that.

With that note, let me tell you about the things as they are and as I think of them.

When I say, "Things as they are." I mean them in a physical manner. Something that can be measured. Something that is observable. They are basically anything that is of our physical universe. Physical is objective. For example... our body is physical.

So, when I blog about the great Eiffel Tower - you know what I'm talking about. You can see it, or at least have seen the picture, you can touch it if you've been there, and you know how it looks. Eiffel Tower is a physical matter. Therefore, Eiffel Tower is something that is observable to the public.

When I say, "Things as I think of them." I mean them in a thinking manner. Something that cannot be measured. something that is not observable. They are basically anything that is of our mental universe. Mental is subjective. For example... our thoughts.

So when I blog about how the breeze affects my day - you may not know what I'm talking about. You can't see the breeze I'm talking about, you can't really picture it, nor can you touch the very breeze that I was talking about, and you definitely don't know how it looks. The breeze affecting me is mental, my own interpretation. Therefore, the affect of breeze to me is something that is unobservable to the public.

Consider the taste of pineapple. How tall is it? How wide? Mental things don't have physical dimensions like that.

Consider subtraction. Where is that located, Chicago or New York? Mental things don't have physical locations like that.

This is exactly why I read blogs, books, and most importantly - I stop to listen and hear what people have to say to access their private mental realm. I'm not more concern nor interested in the things that they say, it's their own interpretation of these things is what will keep my attention. I mean, I can talk to 20 of my friends about how they feel about the 80s music. I bet I would get different and rather entertaining responses.

We live in a physical realm where people can observe you physically. If you shout, you'll be heard. If you dance, you'll be seen. We also live in a mental realm where what you do with your mind is completely unobservable - your thoughts, emotions, and mental calculations).

Needless to say, the blogs you'll read here are my private mental recreations, imaginations, and interpretations based on observable physical environment that surrounds me. Let them serve you for entertainment only and nothing else.

The Magic of Everyday Talking

I was born and raised in the Philippines. I moved to the United States in my later teen years. It is a little over a decade now.

One of the people I looked up to was my Uncle named Elvin. He passed away a few years ago. I dearly miss him. He was a person who respected cultural diversity. He believed that if a foreigner wants to live in the Philippines, he or she must learn the language and culture. He gave me the same advice when I left for the United States. He said, “Mike, now that you’re going to the United States and living there, you need to speak and think like them. Never speak in your native tongue in front of them because that is disrespectful. You need to assimilate and become one of them. That’s the only way to be successful. When in America, do as the Americans do.”

I've written and read in English ever since kindergarten. But as far as actual experience and having conversation in English, or even saying a word or sentence to someone who naturally speaks English, I had ZERO, nada. Needless to say, I was not completely ready to assimilate but somehow my calm nature got me through the initial phases to becoming an American.

I guess they called this getting “Americanized”. Upon arriving to the United States, a few months later, I applied for citizenship. I took my oath in Fresno, California and became a U.S. citizen in 2000.

I wanted to talk about my struggle in communicating with other people, and I still find it a challenge to these days. Having conditioned my tongue, way of thinking, and attitude that of a Philippine culture and heritage, I find the challenges of expressing myself a little frustrating at times. Some days, I feel like I could express myself more clearly. To add to that, I don’t even think I have a primary language now. Have 2 secondary languages: English and Visayan (not Tagalog).

Without further ado, I want to tell you how I feel about the English language and the magic of every day talking. This is my translation, my point-of-view, based on my cultural background, regarding how I feel about the Western language.

Western cultural learning tells us that talk is about word and influencing people – getting what we want, saying the right words, in the right way.

I noticed that talking here is more individualistic in nature, unlike in the Philippines – more collective in nature. Here, we seem to think that talking is a game. Consider tennis for example, using the ball as your words, where you hit the ball on certain areas of your opponent’s court side and you expect a predicted ball return or replied words based on where you placed the ball, your words.

We also consider talking as a contest, where you are there to prove yourself.

Speaking of proving oneself, one of my good friends always thought he’d be a lawyer when he grows up. He always had something to say to just about everything. Whether you’re right or wrong, he’ll find a way to argue with you in a friendly manner.

Here’s how I summarized the notion of when someone is making an argument just for the heck of it:

We start by assuming that there is a right answer and we have it. If we don’t have it now, we’ll find it by proving the other side wrong. By listening only to find flaws in the their arguments and then build counter arguments by defending our assumptions as if they were objective facts or truths, critiquing their positions and finally seeking a conclusion that justify our position. After all, we know we’re right on whatever it is. We are way better than average.

I stopped arguing with people after my second grade teacher said, “Mike, learn to listen!”

One thing I learned about Social Psychology while attending college is that our minds are wired to think of ourselves as better than average in every day situation, and when our thoughts are somehow challenged – we naturally think of ourselves as right.

Our view of talk is fundamentally simple… they don’t get it, it’s their fault.

I always wondered how I would communicate if I was born and raised here instead of having an ingrained cultural background from the Philippines. All I know is that, to become better at talking, we need to know more and blame far less when we’re dealing with difficult situations.

When to Ignore or Deal with Problems

Wish your problems would just go away? Me too. Ever been stuck in a problematic situation where you didn’t want to be in? I’ve been there too.

Let’s take a look at our problems and what to do with them.

Our problems can range from not liking the weather (that’s the case for me today) to having to change your car transmission. Knowing how to disregard certain problematic circumstances is far more important and productive than wishing they would go away. You need to face your problems. Here's how...

2 ways to work around your problems:

1. Ignore them. To ignore a problem means you completely disregard the fact that it actually exist. Problems that we can ignore are what we call “concerns”. These concerns are usually beyond our immediate control. This means that there is nothing we can do today to make an obvious difference the following day. One of the things that we can’t control is weather. If I could control weather – it would be sunny at 75 degrees F every single day because I despise cold weather. But, as you know, weather is beyond my control. If you feel like you’re having a bad day or feeling depressed because of the gloomy weather, ignore it and don’t deal with it. Dealing with this problem will more than likely put you in a very bad mood.
   
   
2. Deal with them. To deal with our problems is to recognize that they actually exist. You know these problems affect you immediately. To disregard them means to be able to find a workaround rather than ignoring them. Problems that we deal with are what we call influence. We can control these kinds of influential problem. This means that if we do something about our problem today, results will be immediately apparent. One of the things that we can control is our immediate physical environment, like when your car transmission is failing. If it is necessary to change your car transmission, deal with it and don’t ignore it. Ignoring this problem will cost you a lot of money down the road.

Keep in mind that a plan for ignoring all the pot holes on the road by dodging all of them is a bad plan. Sometimes, you’ll need a plan to deal with these pot holes because you will hit some of them.

On the other hand, the ability to ignore problems that don’t need to be dealt with will allow you to focus and conserve your energy towards other productive things. This is the way of putting your energy in dealing and fixing problems that is of your influence rather than of your concerns. Remember that concerns are things you have no control over and influence is something you can make an immediate difference when you do something about it.

Ultimately, the inability to ignore or deal with problems is the worst case scenario. When you are not capable of ignoring or dealing with your problems, you are headed for the worst. This is how physical fights usually start, this is how depression begins, and this is why you worry endlessly.

The outcome of dealing with problems should always be positive. For example, if you are having issue with another person, find a way to understand and make peace with that person (mutual/win-win attitude) instead of criticizing and even worse, punching that person in the face (I win/you lose attitude). I see this happen often. Some problems are not being dealt with wisely by some people and this is why we need Law Enforcements in our society.

Knowing when and how to exert your energy and recognizing what problems need to be addressed will determine whether or not you’re wasting your time.

Ignore the problems you have no control over and deal with the ones that you can do something about and that when you deal with problems, the outcome should always be positive.

3 Habits that Will Help You to Move Up in Life

You are who you hang out with.

For me, when I want to improve on my behavior, I hang out with people who are courteous and disciplined. When I want to improve my singing voice, I hang out with good singers. When I want to improve on my social skills, I hang out with likable and outgoing people. When I want to improve my academics, I hang out with smart and educated individuals. When my spending is out of control, I hang out with people who are frugal and thrifty. The general rule is to associate yourself with specific group of people that you believe can directly or indirectly influence your behavior.

When you hang out with the wrong crowd, life will drag you down. When you hang out with the right people, life will draw you up.

Here are 3 habits that will help you to move up in life:

1. It is better to hang out with people who are better than you. Sometimes, we are intimidated by people who are better than us. I was uneasy around them before but now I see it in a different perspective. When I stop to think about it, there are so many opportunities when I’m associating with people whom I consider better than myself. Instead of putting a wall between you and others, why not tear that wall down and be ready to absorb good stuff! Ignore the temptation to serve that little voices in your head who are saying negative things like, “Eh, you think you’re better than me. I’m not listening to you.” Or “Boo, you are not that cool. You’re just alright.” Or “Oh, you think you’re smarter than me? Well, I don’t think so!” The point here is not to close the door on those people who you considered better than you. Tear down that negativity wall. You gain everything by absorbing the good stuff and you gain nothing by closing your mind and heart. Don’t be afraid to hang out with people who you think are better than you. Learn from them!


2. Pick out associates whose behaviors are better than yours and you will drift in that direction. Have you ever told someone that you wish you could be as nice as him or her, or as patient, or as disciplined, or as caring and thoughtful, or as studious, or as thrifty? Well, the best way to emulate that person is to be around him or her so you can observe the behavior in real life application. To learn but not to do is not learning. To know but not to do is not knowing. Pick out those you admire and follow them around and watch how they behave. Learn from them!


3. Pick mentors who are considerably older and wiser than you are. As far as learning, there are two things in life that are very important. Education and Experience. Education requires hard work in a short period of time. Experience requires hard work in a long period of time. In most cases, anyone older than you has the tendency to know more because sometimes old dogs know all the tricks. I know each one of us has admirations to certain people. We look up and respect these people. Never underestimate the older and wise people in your life. As they would say back in the olden days, “Respect your elders.” My personal rule of thumb is, if you’re older than me – it doesn’t matter if you’re 50 years older, 20 years, 5 years, or even 6 months – I will always treat you with respect because I believe that you know better than me. Regardless of what everyone says, you’ve been on this planet Earth longer that I did. Therefore, I will learn from you!
   

We are who we associate with. Aim high in your associations and you will get to the top. Aim low and there’s no telling of how low you will go.

Nobody Likes to be Told What to Do

Several years ago, someone told me this...

"You never tell people what to do yet you make them do what needs to get done and they do it all the time. What are you doing to make them want to do things?"

I said, "Well, I really don't like to tell people what to do, I usually start by asking a question if they are capable of and if they are interested in doing the things that need to get done." Basically, that translates to, "We have to do a job, can you do it? If not, that's alright and I'll find someone else who can do it." As if I'm setting the bar and giving a higher expectation for anyone who is willing and able to do the job. Sounds like a challenge isn't it? It's not an order but the end result is similar, things will get done one way or another.

It got me wondering as to what I was doing because before writing this blog, I've been doing it unconsciously. I don't like telling people what to do. I ask, recommend, and suggest nicely. I didn't purposely said or acted like that, it was basically part of my mannerism ever since I was a little child. Part of my growing up behavior is to not tell people what to do because in reality, we are all providing a service... to God, to your family, to your neighbor, to your boss, to your employees, to homeless people, and so forth.

Am I being too nice? Am I not being direct and clear about what I need? Will people don't take me seriously? But then, once I heard someone said, "... you make them do what needs to get done and they do it all the time." Suddenly, I think I found out why I was able to motivate people to do what needs to get done.

3 ways to make someone do things by not telling them directly what to do:

1. Think in terms of his or her own interest - When I need something done, I make sure that they're getting something out of it too. Therefore, I'm not the only person getting the benefit from the job, but also the person willing to do the job. What's in it for them?
   
2. Ask and then suggest instead of giving direct orders - Let's be clear here, as a child - you didn't want to take orders from your parents, you probably went to the great lengths of crying to resist being told what to do. As an adult, you despise people who gave and are giving you direct orders without at least having your consent whether it be a business or personal matter. Try to illustrate the positive results to the things that you want to get done instead of giving direct orders. For example, in the business world - Instead of "I want sales production to increase", it should be - "If sales production increase, it will make me happy and I will be able to give big bonuses on Christmas." This way, the workers realize that the increase in sales will make for a happy manager and bigger bonuses.
   
3. Induce them to come up with an idea rather than telling them your idea - By doing this, you're not giving orders, but you're getting ideas from people so that they will eventually take ownership and pride to what needs to get done. They set the bar higher than you can for themselves, as if you've silently laid down a higher expectation from them. They know this and they're willing to do what needs to get done since it's their idea. When it's their idea, they are more willing to act on it with pride and conviction to get it done. Think about it. Assume your boss said, "Hey John, finish the excel report by Tuesday, add graphs on it, and use blue and green color schemes for the graphs." How do you feel about that? Another, assume your boss said, "Hey John, It looks like the excel report needs to be done by Tuesday. Do you know the best way to create this report? I'm relying on your expertise to do this." You see the difference? The first one is giving a direct order and the second is encouraging you to take actions, use your creativity, and use your knowledge. When it becomes your idea to complete the task, you will want to finish it because now it's your own task.
   

Here are some example of Direct Order vs. Suggestion by Questioning:

• Direct Order: "I want that done by Monday."
  
• Suggestion: "It would be great if we could make that job done by Monday, do you think you can come up with a way to do that?"

• Direct Order: "Slow down, you're driving too fast."
• Suggestion: "You know the roads are rather slick, do you think that if we slow down that that would make it safer?"

• Direct Order: "This is not the way to do it."
• Suggestion: "Can you think of a better way to do that?"

• Direct Order: "I want you to do it this way."
• Suggestion: "Do you think if we did it this way, it would turn out better?"

• Direct Order: "When we go to the zoo, I want you stay by my side."
• Suggestion: "When we go to the zoo, can you think of reasons why you should stay by my side?"

Let me guess... you don't like to take orders. You probably prefer the suggestions from the above. Don't worry, it's just our natural tendency as human beings. Remember that we all want to be heard, that our ideas are important, and that we are important. This is why when you come up with your own ideas, you tend to take pride on it. Isn't that so much better than being told what to do? Coming up with your own solutions to problems and your own creative ways to fix things?

Let me give you an example I've had back when I was in 6th Grade.

My friends and I played basketball when we were 12 years old. We played almost every day after school at the park. One of my friends like to "tell" our teammates who to play good defense. We all knew that he is good and he knows the best way to do things but many don't listen and simply resist him. Regardless of his effort, they undermined his capabilities overall.

One day he said, "Mike, here's what I want you to tell him..." I replied, "You are better than I am, why don't you tell them?" He replied with a grin in his face as if he was about to tell me a good joke, "They listen to you for some reason, even when you have no clue on what you're doing sometimes." I laughed and said, "Sure, what is it?"

Then he proceeded to tell me how to play good defense and so forth. I then relayed that message to the person who needed to learn how to defend an offensive player. I started by praising his ability to play good defense, I said, "Dude, If it wasn't for you last night, we could possibly have lost the game. Although, there were some open jump shots that you could have tried to alter by challenging them, or perhaps even block them! Do you think you could have done something to play better defense?" He replied immediately, "Oh, thanks! I knew I could have done better, you're right. I really tried but people just said I wasn't trying. I have to work on my defense a little bit though."

In this case, I realized that I didn't really tell him what to do - I just pointed out an issue and then by asking him what he can do about it. I also acknowledged his positive contribution to the team. So, he improved within a couple of weeks and guess what? He became our primary defender. He was the best at it too because he would guard the best player on the opposing team.

I never told him that he needed to improve on his defense. In a friendly way, I just merely asked him a question and suggested to play a better defense. Yet, he followed through and practiced to improve his defensive prowess.

To this day, when I need something done, I make sure that the group of people doing the task are getting something out of it too not just because it's what "I" need to get done. Giving direct orders may work in military environment but in a civilian society, it rarely does. Go out in public and try telling people what to do without their consent and see what happens. We don't want to be told what to do but we take ownership with our own ideas; we take actions with conviction and purpose when it's our ideas. We're motivated and driven!

So, I learned that If I need something done, I always suggest by asking questions and not giving direct orders. If it worked for Benjamin Franklin, Henry Ford, Dale Carnegie, Charles Schwab, and Warren Buffett, then it would definitely work for you and I.

If All Living Things Grow, You Will Too

All that is living must grow. That includes us. You and I need to grow physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

In the past few weeks, I’ve been reflecting about what it means to be growing up. I understand that no matter the age, we are constantly learning and growing. Elderly folks have taught me to think positively, to not complain nor blame my circumstances, to take responsibility for my own actions and their consequences.

Simply put, they taught me to be proactive. I went down memory lanes - went though my personal childhood and adulthood struggles, which are both essential to my well-being today. They are the very foundation of my attitude. They act as reminders for when I am going through life's challenges.

The attitude of, “I’ve been through worse,” or “my problems are miniscule compared to others”, and eventually leading to, “I can get through or around this and I will do so.” Going through life's adversities, I now see challenges and problems as opportunities for constant growth.

As I thought of what it means to be growing up, the following questions came up to my mind:

• Who was I before?
• Who am I now?
• Who will I be?

How about you? Try answering these questions. As adults, it is our responsibility to have a vision, to have goals, no matter how big or small. We must be able to see the end to our current and future ventures to make them meaningful.

I answered these questions by way of quiet reflection. Then I came to a realization that the very foundation of self-ackowledgement was based on social acceptance and public image – behaving in a way that is in alignment with the expectations of my peers, culture, and the acceptable norms.

When we think of our upbringing and development, we think about “us”, the “number 1”. Why? Because for some people, being independent is considered to be the pinnacle of personal achievement. Independence is great but the fact is that we live in an interdependent reality. As I tried to answer the questions I mentioned above, I thought of not only what I’ve done for myself but also all my interactions with people in the past, today, and what it will be in the future.

Lately, I’ve been thinking of the principles that our grandparents thought us. It is our character that defines us not the acted-upon behaviors and attitude that polish our personality. Characters like integrity, industry, humility, justice, temperance, fidelity, courage, simplicity, modesty, and the golden rule are the foundation to effective living. The challenge lies in the balance of having to maintain a positive personality that is in congruency with our character.

I know what I’ve been through and how it has made an impact to affect the person I am now. But the exciting part is the person who I will be is really up to me. No matter the failures and successes, challenges and opportunities, struggles and victories - I still am not the person who I will become someday. As long as I am living, I will continually grow.

3 Ways to Making a Difference for Yourself and Others

Deep inside, you want to be inspired. You know that you are capable of doing more but you need a reason and motivation. You like to be recognized and respected for your efforts. You aspire to be the positive change to the people you love and care.

When you feel inspired, you feel a sense of worthiness. All of a sudden, you have focused goals, future visions, and a calling – all driven by your aspirations.

Here are 3 Ways to Making a Difference for Yourself and Others:

1. Selective Listening – Noise is all over the place: at your work, home, and everywhere else. Don’t you just wish you could mute the things you don’t want to hear? Most leaders do. They simply muted the distracting noises. It is the ability to actively and purposely choose certain voices. Select the people you want to associate – those you believe will have a voice in your life. Find people who challenge you, people who eventually equip you with tools you need to influence. Who are you listening to? Are they contributing to the noise or are they moving you forward with solid advice and insight?


2. Active Reflection – We live in a fast-paced and instantaneous world. Information is everywhere. Our targets are constantly moving and our problems have never been so complex. Sometimes, you have to stop long enough to actively absorb and process incoming information. There is an outspoken need for innovation, creativity, and powerful processing to produce a yield that is measureable. All of these take time – and they demand reflection. Take time to read and reflect.


3. Cultivating Care – The act of empathy has never been so underestimated in our cut-throat society. To empathize is to get outside of our boundaries to reach out to people where they are. Simply put, we try to understand another person and their experiences from within their frame of reference instead of our own. We experience empathy through personal brokenness as well. We also experience empathy by spending time with others who are in dire need of help, who are deeply hurting, learning how to consider others more important than ourselves, making time to tap into our personal narrative, and realizing that every person we encounter has a worthwhile story to share.

The combination of listening, reflecting, and caring is an every day practice to self-improvement. Next time you meet someone, always show that you are willing to listen, that you are willing to reflect on circumstances from their frame of reference, and finally - be sincere about it all.

What She Really Wants for Mother's Day

“Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.” – Anonymous

I know most of you are trying hard to give something important to your mom to make her happy on Mother’s Day. The trick is that it has to come from you as a husband, son, or daughter.

So what is that single thing that counts the most as a Mother’s Day gift?

It’s more of you.

I know most men would probably roll their eyes on this one, including myself. However, we must understand that her heart functions differently than ours. She thinks differently and worries about that most of us don’t. Mothers make sure at the end of that day that everyone’s sleeping well.

Back to my answer: She needs more of you. So, what to give your mother? Simple. She needs you for an entire day to listen to her. When mothers speak while their loved ones listen, it makes them feel loved. Don’t argue nor interrupt her. Don’t give her your opinion unless she asks for it. On mother’s day, let her express whatever she wants to without your autobiographical mentality. This Sunday, it’s all about her and not yours. Just accept that. She deserves it more than you think.

More of you: Give her physical help. Cook breakfast, clean around the house; ask if she needs any special help. Remember, offer yourself on this very day and dedicate yourself to your mother. Let’s face it; you’re probably stronger than your mother. Husbands are physically stronger. Sons and daughters have more energy. Mom-life is physically and mentally exhausting. Come on, help out.

If you’re still skeptical about this very gift, let me tell you something – your mother wants you. Mothers want you to be crazy about them. Whether you’re a husband, a son, or a daughter – your mom wants you on this very special day so wrap yourself as a gift and give more of you.

Give it a try and see what happens on your birthday or Father’s day.

Emotional Bank: Punctuality

Do you have family members, relatives, and friends who like to be “fashionably late”? Yes, I’ve heard that being late is the new “cool” nowadays. Whether it’s your friend not showing up on time to meet you or how about those timely appointments in making sure you don’t wait in the lobby for a long time? Yeah right. You know what I’m talking about.

I am more curious as to why some people don’t mind being late or even worse, intend to be late. Even I am catching this plague wave – at least I’m constantly resisting it. Whoever said it’s fine to be late? Regardless of whether there is a rule or not towards punctuality, I believe it’s to our own benefit to be punctual. And here’s why.

Emotional Bank

There are two kinds of banks in our society: Financial Bank and Emotional Bank.

Financial bank is your typical bank where money is being deposited and withdrawn. It’s a place where you get a student loan, car loan, or home mortgage with interest rate payment. It’s also a place where make enough investment to make interest income. Some people’s goal is to make enough deposit that they live on their interest income. The currency in a financial bank is money.

Emotional bank, what is it? Look around you, every human being you interact with is an emotional bank. Your family, relatives, friends, and strangers are all emotional banks that you make deposits to and withdrawal from. In these kinds of bank, when you make deposits, you gain interest and when you make withdrawals, you pay interest.

There are thousands of currencies that you can deposit and withdraw from an emotional bank. Let’s look at one emotional currency in particular – punctuality.

Making deposits and withdrawals using Punctuality:

Depositing to an emotional bank means that:

• You show mastery – being on time consistently shows that you are the master of your life. It demonstrates foresight – your ability to predict possible hang-ups. It also shows your adaptability – ability to change your plans to accommodate those hang-ups.


• You show competence – Over and over, you show that you are a master of your time and will be taken seriously in areas far removed from time management. That foresight and adaptability that gets you where you need to be, when you need to be there, tells the people around you that you can handle whatever is thrown at you.


• You show integrity – punctuality is also a trust issue. When you make appointment, you are making a commitment to be where you said you’d be when and said you’d be there. The best way to build up other people’s trust in you is by consistently meeting your commitments.
  


• You value people – people are busy, too busy to be waiting on your while their other work goes unfinished. Being punctual shows, clearly and truly, that you value their time and, by extension, that you value them as a person.


• You value yourself – Finally, being on time shows you value your time – and yourself. Being repeatedly late is a self-destructive behavior. Everyone knows that most self-destructive behavior follows from low self-esteem.

Withdrawing from an emotional bank means that:

• You show no mastery – that you are incapable of anticipating possible problems and either dealing with them or altering your course to avoid them. It sends the message that you’re harassed by time, not in control of it.


• You show no competence – conversely, people assume that if the chronically late person can’t even consider the possibility of a little extra traffic, he or she won’t be able to consider other obstacles that might stand in the way of getting a project or task done.


• You show no integrity - You said you’d be here at 9 o’clock but you’re not here; if your word isn’t good enough about something as trivial as showing up on time, how can you word be any good about anything more important?


• You show no value in people – “But I’m always on time for the things that are important.” The message this sends is that, when I’m late, it’s because I really don’t feel that whatever I’m late for is all that important. How about the “big entrance”, the “fashionably late” that I mentioned earlier? Let’s face it – showing off your importance by having other people sit and wait on you clearly says, “You’re not important to me.” And everyone knows the solution – don’t show up, or wait until the moment’s just right, and stab that high-and-mighty loser in the back. If you like to make the grand entrance, don’t worry – someday soon you’ll make a grand entrance to an empty room.
  


• You show no value in yourself – Being late demonstrates that you’re interruptible, that your work in never as high a priority as whatever trivial thing comes along and that you’re unwilling to set priorities in your own life. In that case, why should anyone else care about your time? Why shouldn’t they interrupt you whenever they feel like it, dump meaningless busy-work on you, or dismiss you entirely?
  
  

Remember the next time you make a promise to a family member, relative, or a friend, as trivial as “I’ll be there at 6 o’clock” or other important commitments and depending on whether you fulfill them or not, you are either making a deposit or withdrawal from an emotional bank.

If you want to be wealthy in people’s heart and mind, consider making small deposits every now and then so that someday, you’ll enjoy the interest of your hard-earned investment from your emotional banks.

Leaders and Managers - The Same or Not?

In the corporate world, those who work hard with initiative, integrity, and pride often get promoted to become a manager or a leader.

But what's the difference between a manager and a leader?

If you are a manager, you are responsible for controlling "things". If you're a leader, you live by universal and timeless principle that never change. As a leader, you have moral authority - you focus more on "people" rather than things.

There is a never-ending debate in the manager vs. leader topic. I say there's no need to debate about it. A manager who cannot lead will run out of steam while a leader who cannot manage will run out of functions.

To briefly summarize:

• Managers - control things (technical - deadlines, action items, etc.)
  
• Leaders - influence people (behavioral - empowerment, support, etc.)
  
  

Each and everyone of us should strive to be a leader, whether it's a given position or not. Mahatma Gandhi was a leader yet he held no formal authority - no position. Really, what I'm trying to suggest is that if you want to be an effective individual, you need to focus on controlling things by influencing people.

By controlling things, I don't mean that you act like Hitler, I mean that you direct resources responsibly with due diligence to complete predetermined goals or projects. And by influencing people, I don't mean that you take advantage or be manipulative, I mean that you treat them fairly because the only way to make them do anything is if they want to. Believe it.

Should you be a manager and a leader at the same time? Whether at work, home, or at a social function - the answer is yes. As a managing leader or a leading manager, you are now responsible for controlling "things" by influencing "people". Handling technical issues is important but handling people issues is even more important. You know what things that need to get done - now go and influence those who need to get things done.

Goals don't delay deadlines nor complete themselves - people do.

Effective Ways to Treat People

I once led a group of over 30 individuals for almost a year and for some divine reasons, I purposely took the big role.

Some were strong-minded and some were modest, some were aggressive and some were passive. Some were very smart, and some are okay. But almost everyone had an opinion.

Our success depended on each and every one of us. When one failed, everyone failed. Needless to say, there had to be a collaborate effort in making sure our visions were aligned.

This brought about a very challenging task for me – how to treat each one of them uniquely.

People think, act, and behave differently depending on their culture and upbringing. Over time, I learned to shift my paradigm of thinking based on the person I am talking to. I adjusted my way of thinking to align with the values and interests of the person I am having interaction.

I learned a lot from this experience. I used to talk a lot, I always had an opinion. I believed I was right most of time. I always proved and defended myself. And worst, I didn't listen. But after interacting with these 30 individuals on a daily basis for a year, it changed some of my perspectives.

Here are some of the important lessons I learned on how to treat people effectively. In my experience, these have been proven to be very effective in not only influencing people and making a positive impact on their lives but also to align a team's vision to accomplish a challenging goal:

• Smile.
  
• Be genuinely interested in other person.
  
• Be honest and sincere in your appreciation.
  
• Arouse in the other person an eager want.
  
• Be a good listener.
  
• Encourage people to talk about themselves.
  
• Remember their names.
  
• Make them feel important and do it sincerely.
  
• Talk in terms of their interests.

To this date, I still treat people this way. It took some self-disciplining to shut my mouth and control the little voice in my head. I listened first and tried to be understanding – knowing that part of maturity is being able to delay pleasure and make sacrifices today. Every day is an opportunity to make a change in yourself and other people’s lives.

Tomorrow, start by treating people well.

When You Feel Down and Losing Confidence

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not." - Anonymous

Have you ever thought to yourself that you're not good enough? That you don't have what it takes? And that everyone else is better than you? Well, let me give you some comfort. You're not alone. Look all around you. Every single human being, including myself, that you see felt the same way. And if they haven't, they will.

Really, it doesn't matter whether you think someone else knows more than you, more athletic than you, or looks better than you. It is what you make of yourself.

Other people focused on being knowledgeable. Others focused on training day after day since they were young to become a professional athlete. Others studied numbers to become a prominent accountant. Others read books night after night to become a lawyer. Others focused on giving back to the community. What they all have in common is their complete desire and intensity to become who they want to be.

What about you, have you decided who you want to be? You don't have to be that person who you think is better than you in every aspect. Just be the best person you are capable of becoming because you are all that you got.

There is something about you that no one else have. You have to focus in seeing and believing in yourself instead of thinking of the expectations of other people about you. Besides, you can't read other people's mind. So, don't even waste your time guessing and allowing those certain "voices" to contaminate your head.

Self-Confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared. What you see of yourself is what others see of you because perception is reality. The more confidence you have, the more likely that you will succeed.

"But Mike, I need help and I don't know what to do and no one will help me!"

One of my favorite quotes has always been, "God helps those who help themselves." If you want others to help you, you must help yourself first. Most of the time, you will solve your own problems if you only try really hard instead of relying on other people to help you. You are helpless only if you choose to be.

However, If you need additional help, here are some of my simple advice that you can apply immediately to start feeling more confident tomorrow and for the rest of your life:

• Dress Appropriately - No one is more conscious of your appearance than yourself so make yourself feel better by dressing for the occasion. If you are going to a formal party, don't dress up like a rock star. If you're going to a concert, don't look like you're a CEO. You get my point.
  


• Walk Faster - Yes, walk faster, really. One of the easiest ways to tell how people feel about themselves is to observe the way they walk. Do they look slow? tired? painful? or more energetic with drive and purpose? People with confidence walk fast because they need to get somewhere, need to get it done, and they have people to see.



• Good Posture - People with slumped shoulders and feeling lethargic display lack of self-confidence. You have to look and feel enthusiastic. Be alert and empowered.



• Read/Listen/Watch Motivational Speeches - You will be inspired because as Plato once said, "Be kind for someone else is fighting a harder battle." It's the small things that will light up that burning flames within yourself.



• Gratitude - When you focus too much on what you need, your head will always come up with reasons why you can't have those needs. Be thankful instead. Treat every day as a Thanksgiving Day.



• Compliment Other People - When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that same feeling on to others in the form of insult, critic, and gossip. Look for the best in others so you indirectly bring out the best in yourself (Isn't that what "best" friends are for?).



• Focus on Contribution - Too often, we get caught up on our own desires. You have to also focus on the needs of others. The more you contribute to others, the more you will be rewarded with personal success and recognition.
  

Just remember, when you are feeling down and losing confidence, that you are not alone. No one is more responsible for your actions than yourself.

The help you need starts from within.

Why I Love the Whole Karaoke Thing

“Always keep a song in your heart; it’s like karaoke for the voices in your head.” - Robert Fulton Abernethy

Most of you know the whole Karaoke thing. If you are like me, always curious about how “things” started, then you probably want to find out how karaoke came about. Formally, they call that history. Well, here is a quick history about Karaoke.

Karaoke is a Japanese word (Kara-oke). Kara means empty and Oketsutora means orchestra. Karaoke means an empty orchestra. Basically, you hear the music without the vocals.

In the 60s, The American TV network, NBC had a karaoke-like series. It was called Sing Along with Mitch. The primary difference between “Sing Along” and “Karaoke” is the lack of lead vocals. In Karaoke, you are the lead vocalist.

Japanese musician, Daisuke Inoue, invented the notion of karaoke. When he would miss an event at a dinner or a party, he would provide a recording of his performance. People would sing along to this performance. This karaoke music was recorded on cassette tapes resulting in the development of “Minus-One Music.” To this date, I still remember those three words ingrained not only in my mind, but probably in my soul too.

Karaoke is popular in Asian countries like Japan, Philippines, Korea, and Taiwan. In 1990s, the concept of karaoke entertainment entered the market in United States and Canada without any success until recently. Now, you may find that there is a karaoke setup at your nearest bar on certain days. That is what I have been noticing from my town, and even around the country while looking up on my Facebook friends’ statuses. It seems that the typical background music at your favorite restaurants is being replaced by not only the enjoyment of listening to music, but the ability to sing and dance to it! Besides, if you’re more of an observer, you may also indulge in just watching people singing and dancing – it gets even better when certain beverages are involved.

I was 5 years old and living in Manila, Philippines when I was exposed to karaoke. It may possibly be the biggest contributor to my passion for music, although my father was a professional piano player performing in the Philippines and other Asian countries – so genetics may also be a factor.

Karaoke has always been a big part of the Filipino culture, at least from what I can remember. I may have called it our “National Sport” at one time because you can’t go to any party in the Philippines without expecting a karaoke in the middle of it all. Although I was around this whole karaoke thing since I was 5 years old, I never really sang a song until I was 16 years old but like most, I enjoyed music.

These days, I’m enjoying singing and dancing to karaoke with friends. We go out to restaurants and bars. But recently, good friends of mine bought a karaoke system to use at home. This really hit the home run. I’m back to when I was 5 years old!

A few months ago, close friends of mine have been enjoying this whole karaoke thing at our favorite bars and restaurants. Karaoke was the weekend vacation from a tiring work week. It is something to look forward to. In our circle of friends, we have some who sing and some who don’t. We have many who like to dance while some prefer to watch it all. But regardless of their preference, everyone enjoyed the karaoke atmosphere, as if it is the closest thing to a live music event they will ever get.

Whether you do or don’t like to dance, sing, or even the concept of karaoke – Based from my own observations and experience, I can attest that you like listening to music. Why? Music touches your spirit and soul that allows your mind to freely wander and your heart to beat to its own rhythm.

You may be into metal, hard rock, classic rock, pop, punk rock, polka, country, indie alternative, disco, trance, rap, hip-hop, house, or gospel – it really doesn’t matter because ultimately, music affects your sensation and feelings. Without music, “life would be a mistake.”

Good Conversation, Bad Conversation

“A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That’s why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet.” – Truman Capote

Conversation is an exchange of thoughts, feeling, and ideas between two or more people.

Conversations happen every day. You greet a stranger in the morning, you talk to your boss, co-workers, or employees, you attend a meeting at work, and you meet a friend at a store. The interaction requires you to communicate.

What differentiate from a good conversation to a bad conversation? Autobiographical Mentality

Talking in Autobiography

Were you in a situation when you feel like the person you are talking to seems to have no interest in what you have to say? Do you start a conversation with “My” or “I”, or anything about you and your life, after you initially greet someone?

If you answered “yes” to both questions, there is a high possibility that you are speaking in autobiographical mode.

In order to be an effective speaker, your listener must be genuinely interested in what you have to say. Otherwise, words that come out your mouth may be going from one ear and out the other. Or as Ke$ha would say, “Blah, blah, blah!”

But how do you know if your listeners are being genuine?

Well, people usually will ask you a question or make you share something for them to listen to because they are genuinely interested in what you have to say. Hold your urge to share something “you” find interesting and important because you may be surprised that the person next to you could care less about your opinion, or about your vacation, or how bad or good your day went.

You may be thinking and saying this while you read this article, “Wait a sec. I’m just trying to relate to the person by drawing on my own experience!”

There are times when speaking in autobiographical mode is appropriate. It is when they ask for your opinion, point-of-view, help, or when there is a high level of trust in the relationship.

Listening in Autobiography

Are you constantly formulating what you are going to say while someone is talking to you? Are you judging someone without knowing what the reasons maybe to what you are hearing?

If you answered “yes” to both questions, there is a high possibility that you are listening in autographical mode.

If order to be an effective listener, you must hold your burning desire to judge what others are meaning to say before they are even done speaking. Don’t presume that what you hear is, “Blah, blah, blah!”

But how do you know when you are listening in autobiographical mode?

Really, there are 4 things that we are probably doing as a listener and as we respond. Instead of fully hearing and understanding a speaker from their point-of-view, we tend to do the following:

• Evaluate - judging to either agree or disagree.
• Probe - asking questions from your own frame of reference.
• Advice - giving unsolicited counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
• Interpret - analyzing others' motives and behaviors based on your own experience.
  

Remember that if you want to have an open and interesting conversation with someone, you must be genuine in your intent to listen and in seeking to understand the person talking to you.

The Self-Discipline Challenge

"Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances." - Thomas Jefferson

Or if humorous quotes are your forte:

"I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end." - Margaret Thatcher

Did you ever commit to doing something but end up quitting because of the seemingly obvious indications in the decline on your progress? Or the feeling that you are not going anywhere?

At some point in your life, you may have felt the following:

• School is too hard and I am getting bad grades.
  
• Work is stressing me out and no one appreciates me.
  
• I try to lose weight but have seen no result.
  
• I keep putting off things that I need to get done around the house.
  
• I need to create a presentation for next week but I haven't started on it.
  
• I should be making that phone call soon.

Well, you are not alone.

I am not going to talk about motivation. I am going to talk about something that I believe is a far more important recipe to achieving your goals - discipline. All that discipline asks of you is your patience.

When you commit to doing something, there is usually a timeline and an action plan as to how you are going to complete it. You may have written them down, or you may have just made a mental note about it.

For example, you may have scheduled a vacation with the family months in advance and you cancel it a week for the event? Or you may have promised a friend to watch a movie tomorrow but ended up cancelling it an hour before the show?

Outside of legitimate excuses, the point is to try your best in completing these kinds of commitment. The shorter the timeline of the commitment, the easier it is to complete. The longer the timeline of the commitment, the hard it is to complete.

What I suggest is that you challenge yourself. Find out if you can achieve your commitments. Set a commitment today and don't worry about the progress until you are completely done. More often than not, you will be surprised to find pleasing results.

Build a mental habit that will help you get things done.

Worry, Why?

“Worry is like a rocking chair - it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.” - Anonymous

Why do you worry? What makes you worry? Who makes you worry?

Let us explore this topic.

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, worry is a "mental distress or agitation resulting from concern usually for something impending or anticipated." I would agree with this definition.

In order to understand what makes you worry, you must look into what is making you feel and act the way you do. And who is responsible for making you worry? You.

When we speak of our emotions and actions, it is inevitable not to mention the source of it all - the brain. To some degree, environmental influences are responsible for our "reactions" but our "pro-actions" are produced by our own ability to respond to environmental stimuli.

The Brain

Our brain is a very powerful organ. It is literally responsible for our physical reactions, both inward and outward. Brain produces over 100,000 chemical reactions every second. Yes, every second.

Here’s another cool fact that relates to the brain’s natural signals. MRI scans have shown that when you spend money with cash instead of your card, the brain signals a pain. Yes, it’s painful to spend $20 in cash than $20 with your debit card. That’s the beauty of our brain. Although your brain may seem affected by outside influences, it’s up to you to produce certain chemicals that your body will react to.

Would you believe me if I said that you are your own chemist? Your brain produces various chemicals. These drugs are associated with memory, intelligence, but most are sedatives.

We Are All on Drugs

Here are a few drugs that your brain produces, which are certainly familiar to most of you: Endorphin is the brain’s painkiller and it is 3 times more potent than morphine. Yes, you create the most powerful sedative in existence right from your brain. Dopamine – makes you hyper active, talkative, and excitable. Serotonin – makes you feel happy, which also helps keep your moods under control by helping with sleep, calming anxiety, and relieving depression.

Mind, Body, and Soul

Our body readjusts to our way of thinking. For example, let’s talk about depression. Depression begins with a disturbance in the part of the brain that governs our moods. Most people can handle every day stresses. When stress is too great for a person and his or her adjustment mechanism is unresponsive, depression may be triggered. Remember, stress is when the demands far exceed your exhausted resources.

Needless to say, our brain has a lot to do with our worrying. Worrying is responsible for what is eating you from the inside not from the outside. When your life gets too busy, never forget to allocate some time to reflect. However, if your problems persist, here are several tips to help you.

Here is what Aristotle had to say about analyzing your problems:

1. Get the facts - most of your worries are caused by you trying to make decisions before you have sufficient knowledge on which to base your decisions.
2. After carefully weighing all the facts, come to a decision.
3. Once you reached your decision, act on it. Get busy carrying out your decision.

And if you start to worry again, write down the answers to these questions:

1. What is the problem?
2. What is the cause of the problem?
3. What are all possible solutions?
4. What is the best solution?

If you’re worrying today, you may also want to ask these questions to yourself:

• Do I tend to put off living in the present in order to worry about the future?
• Do I sometimes make bitter of the present by regretting things that happened in the past - that are over and done with?
• When shall I start to do this? Next week? Tomorrow? Today?

Do something about your worries instead of worrying about it day after day:

• What am I worrying about?
• What can I do about it?
• Here is what I am going to do about it.
• When am I going to start doing it?
  
  

Remember that you are a “response-able” individual. You are in charge for creating your own drugs. Being able to respond is an ultimate freedom that cannot be taken away from you.

Control your worries before they control you.

Attitude that Persists through Generations

Yesterday was full of inspirations and motivations.

My mother and I were apart for this year's Easter celebration, the resurrection of Jesus. She was in San Francisco with friends and relatives and I was in Bakersfield, spending time with good company. My mother and I were talking on the phone early Sunday. We were physically separated but near and dear at heart and mind.

I attended an Easter service at Riverwalk at the Park. The service was hosted by Riverlakes Community Church where there were thousands in attendance. The service lasted for an hour. It was filled with children's choir, a talented band, and a motivational sermon.

After the service, I went to Panera Bread, bought lunch, and brought it back to the park where hundreds of people were in attendance. Children were mindlessly running around and playing while their parents and relatives were serving barbeque lunches. There, I ate my lunch and read my book for about two hours.

Afterwards, I went to my friends' house where they celebrated Easter with the family and friends. I was fortunate enough to be a part of their friends. To me, they are family and I'm sure the relationship is mutual. Family and friends are great sources of support. In the past, I've had great opportunities to be receiving good advices from successful and elderly people, both accounts for the theoretical and experiential knowledge.

I admire elderly people. They are filled with wisdom and timeless experiences. There is so much to learn from them. One particular person in attendance at my friend's house was "Granny". She is my friend's grandmother. She is 93 years old. She is very outgoing, open-minded, and constantly having a conversation with anyone and everyone. It didn't matter if you were 5, 21, 42, or 65 years old, she will keep up with a good conversation.

The first time I saw her, I instantly found someone who truly deserved adulation without a doubt. Growing up as a child, I have spent many years enjoying stories and simple advices from older folks like Granny. Their advices are timeless. They are driven by simple, basic principles, and priceless values.

One of the best characteristics that I have noticed from Granny was her genuine positive attitude. If there is one thing to learn from her, it was her attitude. Just as she clearly emanates, maybe we can eliminate our worries, enjoy our lives, and promote an overall healthy well-being if we carry on the same attitude.

Both Jesus' resurrection and Granny's positive attitudes are impressions that last towards generations to come.

At the conclusion of the Easter celebration, as we walked Granny out to her car, she turned around and said to us, "There is nothing you can do that I can't do." Now, that's the spirit. That's an attitude that persists through generations to come.

4 Good Investments I Made in the Past

No, I'm not talking about mutual funds, stocks, bonds, retirement funds, or Roth IRA - I'm talking about those occasional big expending that we all make. Yeah, those things.

We've all heard of ROI - Return On Investment. Technically speaking, ROI is basically a performance measure used to evaluate the efficiency of an investment or to compare the efficiency of a number of different investments. In a simplistic term, "Are the things we bought worth it?"

Here are 4 good investments I've made in the past (not in particular order):

1. iPhone ($199.99). At first, I was a non-believer. I believed that I didn't need those "silly apps" they have on smartphones. I mean what a waste of time, right? I was wrong. Yes, there are apps, which I considered to be non-productive. And by non-productive, I mean apps that don't add value to my well-being, knowledge, and personal growth. As I was browsing through the Apple Store, the one category that I saw was "Productivity." DING! All of a sudden, it was like a revelation. So, I thought of productive applications. I don't play games on iPhone. I'm not picking on you, iPhone gamers, I just don't play video games, anymore. Don't get me wrong, I was a big gamer and I can probably still beat you in any game. That was a bold statement, I know.
   
   Here is the list of apps I like on my iPhone, which I find to be super productive in my own ways (These are all "free" by the way - that's my Personal Finance junkie in me. I'm frugal):
   
   
   • Free RSS Reader - I used to come home after work and read blogs from people I like. Most of these guys are managers, leaders, finance experts, and friends. With iPhone and when I'm alone, I can now read their articles on my leisure time (at the park, fast food, etc.)
     
   • Yahoo! Sportacular - Solely to follow my favorite NBA team, Lakers.
   • MyFitnessPal - To track my bad eating habits...
   • Ace Budget Lite - My monthly budget application. I no longer get on my personal computer to track my income and expenses on excel. I can do it mobile style.
   • Debt Free Lite - Tracking my debt. This app is great. It shows the amortization and it can send quick reports of all your debt information to your email in 2 button taps.
   • DailyPsalms - Proverbs and Psalms give me inspirations and guidance. I read different one each day in case I forget my roots.
     
   • Notes - Ever had one of those days when ideas, good or not, provoking or non-sense, pop-up on your head? Yeah, I capture mine on this application. Then, I try to write about them later on so I can have a copy on paper or electronically. We all thought of great ideas before, but they're only ideas that go away and forgotten when you don't write them down.
     
   • Facebook - Need I explain? I thought so.
     
     I now spend less time on my personal computer. I thought about selling it since I don't need it anymore.
     
     
2. Road Bicycle ($485.00). Really, this is super cheap compared to some of the prices of road bicycles. A co-worker has a $3,000+ bike, and another co-worker has one at $5,000+. See what I mean? There are many benefits to having a bicycle though. For me, it was the combination of having fun, being able to see places I normally don't see when I'm driving my car, and the exercise aspect of it. I normally get on the bike path, going at 12-18 MPH speed, and usually go 2-3 times a week between 10-30 miles each ride. I go for a short distance on weekdays because of work but I try to go for further distance ride on weekends. I also like to randomly bike around Bakersfield metropolitan and hope I don't end up in the "hood". Riding has been super fun!
3. Acoustic Guitar ($550.00). I've had this acoustic guitar for over 5 years now. By far the best investment for me. I play it every day. And sometimes, it serves as my spiritual and therapeutic means. I don't see myself living in a house without an acoustic guitar. Probably not going to happen in my lifetime.
4. Amazon's Kindle ($189.00). A really good friend of mine introduced me to this awesome e-reader. Now, It's so convenient to read books (via e-books). I no longer go to a bookstore. Don't get me wrong. I still like the hardcover, paperback books. I have a lot of them. But I am not able to bring 100 books at once to the park. I often re-read books and review certain chapters. The downside is that, I maybe spending excessive time reading. Books cost money. I'm willing to invest in books though. I just had to adjust my monthly budget and cut-off other expenses. "Books" is actually a category on my budget now. It used to be included in the "Blow" category of my budget.
   

I know I've made other investments worthy of mention but these 4 on the list provide the highest return by far. How about you, what are some of the worthy investments you've made in the past?

For fun: Did you know that a buying New Car is probably one the worst investments you can or will make, financially speaking? I will explain this to you on a future blog. I'm kinda burned out right now. My brain hurts!