Do You Feel the Need to Judge Some People Now?

Let me start by saying this, I admit that I judge people day in and day out. I think it's our natural instinct. That is why I do it. Maybe for some odd reasons, our way of survival in the past was to make quick decisions or we die! (Think of the 'Fight or Flight Response' concept here). But at the end of the day, I always remind myself that judging people is not the wisest or nicest thing to do.

I often defend and make excuses for people's shortfalls. (Don't mistake this for 'enabling'.) For example, have you ever send an email to a person and expecting a reply back but never got one? How about a reply back to your texts or phone calls? Yes? My guess is probably. But try your best not to blame the person. If you don't get a reply, I would suggest that you keep an open mind by not judging him or her simply because you didn't get what you wanted and when you wanted it.

From a completely unselfish standpoint, think of circumstances rather than focusing on the person. One of our biggest mistakes is that we judge people rather than situations. This is undoubtedly because we have had to make unconscious decisions in the past, right there and then, and when things are happening.

Most all impulsive actions end up being bad decisions after all. Don't fall for the natural thing to do or say - by reacting without thinking:

Think of splurge shopping spree for example. Although some people may consider this kid of shopping as therapeutic, spending money on unwanted items is not considered a wise decision. If you really want buy certain things, give it 30 days. Then go back and see if you still want those things. If by then you still have the urge to buy, and then by all means get them. Otherwise, you probably didn't need those things from the get-go.

Another example, think of how most fights begin. Most conflicts revolve around misunderstanding and the unwillingness to understand one another, which leads to undesirable actions later. No one wins in a fight. Whether you win or lose, the process is always like digging your own grave. The best way to win a fight or an argument is to avoid it completely.

Remember, whether you know it or not, we are what we decide to do or say. We are the commander of our own ship of life. The moment you accept that your actions are what makes you, only then will you realize that you are in control of your destiny.

So, keeping an open mind by not judging people is simply a way of understanding that there are things and concepts that are way beyond our capacity of comprehension - sometimes it is best to leave it alone. If you must judge something -- think of situations first rather than people. This is why most people are willing to spend hours of telling you stories about themselves in hopes that you can at least connect with them and that you will start to understand their 'situations', whether good or bad, and then maybe... just maybe... you will finally learn to understand them.

Just as much as we don't want people to judge us, let's reciprocate that very same idea that we should not judge other people since we don't know what 'situations' they are in. It's the least we can do each day, if nothing else. And like your parents may have said to you in the past, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Or as my step-father once engraved into my thick skull, 'If you keep judging people like that, you will get punched in the face soon enough."